It amazes me how strong the collective narrative is regarding the simple act of getting something wrong. I’m not just talking about the big things like job interviews, parenting decisions, family disagreements, public speaking engagements, but more so the tiny, everyday missteps and silly mistakes that also engage our internal alarm system.
Maybe you’ve felt it too. That heat rising in your chest, that inner collapse, when you send the wrong text or forget an appointment or say something that doesn’t land. The nervous system doesn’t know the difference between a small mistake and a full-blown threat.
For so many of us, especially as women, making a mistake actually feels unsafe. Disappointing someone, not being perfect, or being “difficult” isn’t just uncomfortable, it feels dangerous to our nervous system. And as we internalize this, we vow to hold ourselves to impossible standards, all the while scrambling to keep our head above water.
But what if there’s medicine in the mistake?
What if getting it wrong on purpose could actually help your body rewire its fear response?
That’s what I started doing, deliberately messing up little things to teach my nervous system that I could survive my perceived errors. Like standing in the shower with my pajamas on and saying, “Oops! Look what I did!” Or cracking an egg on the floor and laughing that I missed the bowl. At first it felt a bit ridiculous, yet as I did these things something began to shift deep within me.
Because healing isn’t just about understanding and revisiting your trauma, it’s about creating a new, embodied experience of safety.
This week I shared more about this journey on Water Rising,
If you’re on a mission to renegotiate your relationship to perfectionism and your fear of failure, it’s a must watch! .
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